I'm pretty certain I'll get fired up to have a good rant about something, usually work, and usually with good reason. But as of yet, it has been a thoroughly boring day. That's not to say that it was productive. I work 12 hour shifts and one can get quite a bit done in that amount of time.
Twelve hour work days can be quite long and tedious. I do several things at my job. One of the ladies jokes and says that I'm a jack-of-all-trades, master of none. I can't argue with that. I do just a little bit of everything. I work doing light housekeeping sometimes, I answer phones, and make certain that the residents are healthy and safe. I respond to emergencies. I get annoyed by the nonsense that occurs when working in a place like this. What kind of place? A very common place. It is home to many people. I take care of them no matter how infuriating they can be. No matter what happens. It's my job. It's the job I've been doing, for the most part, thanklessly for the past 11 years.
That's not to say that what we do here isn't appreciated. It is for the most part. It's not the residents that are unappreciative. They are. They will tell you that (unless they decide that they are going to go off their meds and spiral down into depression and paranoia. And there's not a damn thing you can do about it). It's the families that dump their relatives here like trash and never once check on them again. They think they've done the right thing by putting them in a place that they'll be safe. A place where the cooking, cleaning, driving and entertaining is done. Sure, it's better than them dying alone in their home or an apartment and being found days, weeks or months later. Sadly, those people that throw away their families. I've seen it time and time again. Sadly, we become those people's family. We become the one's that they depend on. We become their companions. If it weren't for us, those people would probably die alone and abandoned. Pretty depressing isn't it?
You can't help but think of it that way sometimes. Because you can't really sugarcoat reality. Today was a pretty good day though. One of the ladies that have been off her meds is trying to get back into the real world. She's not being paranoid or insulting or accusatory. She's been polite and asking for assistance about getting information about her insurance and what her medicine is going to cost to refill it. It was a relief. I expected her to be angry and hateful. It's always nice to be surprised, especially when you're trying to do something nice for someone.
I made several others happy by playing games with them. I talked with them. I helped them with small problems that seem very difficult for them, like pouring a glass of water and not spilling it. I don't feel like I should win an award for doing this job. It is a job. It's not what I intended to do with my life at all. But for the time being it's fine. It's been fine for 11 years.
Today's productive work day was made tolerable by a handful of bands. Songlist as follows:
- 01. Ai Senshi from 0079-0088 by Gackt
- 01. Ash Like Snow from Ash Like Snow by the brilliant green
- 01. Faraway from Faraway by Gackt
- 01. Flower from Flower by Gackt
- 01. Freedom Fighters from Freedom Fighters by Miyavi
- 01. GHOST from GHOST by Gackt
- 01. Hakanaku mo Towa no Kanashi from Hakanaku mo Towa no Kanashi by UVERworld
- 01. Jesus from GLADIATOR Evolution by Gackt
- 01. Journey Through the Decade from Journey Through the Decade by Gackt
- 01. Kuro no Keiyakusha - Kakusei Heroism - The Hero Without a Name from Kuro no Keiyakusha Kakusei Heroism - The Hero Without a Name by Antic Cafe
- 01. Koakuma Heaven from Koakuma Heaven by Gackt
- 01. Lacrimosa from Lacrimosa by Kalafina
- 01. LOST ANGELS from LOST ANGELS by Gackt
- 01. Monochrome no Kiss from Monochrome no Kiss by SID
- 01. Pray from Pray by Tommy Heavenly6
- 01. Sekai ga Owaru Made wa .../Fake from Sekai go Owaru Made wa.../Fake by ACID
- 01. The Next Decade from The Next Decade by Gackt
- 02. Cube from Kimi no tame ni dekiru by Gackt
- 02. Dirty from the KILLER show by Nightmare
- 02. In Flames from Flower by Gackt
- 02. My Father's Day from Koakuma Heaven by Gackt
- 02. No Reason from LOST ANGELS by Gackt
- 02. Oblivious from Faraway by Gackt
- 03. Chapter 1 from Play by SID
- 03. Mizerable from GLADIATOR Evolution by Gackt
- 03. Suddenly from LOST ANGELS by Gackt
- 04. Burial Applicant from STACKED RUBBISH by the Gazette
- 04. Dozing Green (English) from Uroboros (Unplugged) by Dir en grey
- 04. ILLUMINATI from merveilles by Malice Mizer
- 04. Premier Amour from Voyage by Malice Mizer
- 05. Believe from Ultimate Circus by Nightmare
- 01. Anata no Koe ga iro aseyou from Kuroshitsuji Black Box Soundtrack, Disc 3 by Ono Daisuke
- 05. Dozing Green (Japanese) from Uroboros (Unplugged) by Dir en grey
- 05. Kuririn Manson from Jinsei Game by Sendai Kamotsu
- 05. Tsuki no Ame from Kuroshitsuji Black Box Soundtrack, Disc 3 by Ono Daisuke
- 06. Glass Skin (English) from Uroboros by Dir en Grey
- 06. Kalmia from Rebirth by Gackt
- 07. au revoir from merveilles by Malice Mizer
- 07. DAYBREAK'S BELL from KISS by L'Arc en Ciel
- 07. Dears from 0079-0088 by Gackt
- 07. Raison d'etre from the KILLER show by Nightmare
- 08. Je te veux from merveilles by Malice Mizer
- 08. Love Letter from 0079-0088 by Gackt
- 09. A Lone Player from Persona Soundtrack
- 09. Megurai from 0079-0088 by Gackt
- 09. S-CONSCIOUS from merveilles by Malice Mizer
- 09. Sorrow in the Box from Pray for the Future by ACID
- 09. Trible Neet from Jinsei Game by Sendai Kamotsu
- 10. Le Ceil from merveilles by Malice Mizer
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