Another Round of Results

RelUnrelated had an appointment this morning to see the results of his PET and CT scans that he had done recently. To put it mildly the doctor isn't happy with the results of the chemotherapy and has decided that he needs to have stem cell (bone marrow) transplants. I'm not happy about this because honestly, this is going to be harder on him than the chemotherapy was. And our safety net is gone. The cancer center we've been going to does not do this. This treatment is very expensive and is something we could never hope to be able to pay for. Unfortunately we may have to see if he can get on Medicaid. Our place of employment does not offer any type of health care whatsoever and I can't even hope to scrape together enough money to pay for premiums on any type of health insurance. I have had to borrow money as it is to pay the bills some months and every time I have had to ask for help it makes me angry at myself. 

So we're back to that some feeling I had back in May when he was admitted to the hospital half dead. And yes, finances were the reason the reason he got as ill as he did. That and stubbornness. In the end I out stubborned him and he went in to the ER and something was finally done. We've hit another stumbling block however and I'm feeling kind of helpless again. This fucking sucks. I hate this feeling. I hate those stupid lymph nodes that didn't "melt" away like the rest of the nodes. 

The options right now are the transplants, which will be done most likely with his own cells, harvested after boosting his system with Granulocyte-colony stimulating factor, which is what he was taking a day after getting his chemotherapy to increase blood cell production and build the system up for another dose of chemotherapy. The cells can be harvested, if they use his own in two ways. They can go into the bones directly, usually the pelvis, and extract bone marrow. He had this done after his first chemotherapy treatment on a small scale to make certain the cancer hadn't spread to his bones. It was done outpatient and in the office. It was also quite painful. I watched the entire procedure. A small incision was made and an instrument, not unlike an ice auger or cork screw was used to get right into the pelvis and to the marrow. The item is a hollow needle and aspirates and bone marrow can be drawn right out of this procedure. It was not pleasant or pain free. The bone is bored into. Hopefully this is not how they choose to collect the cells. Hopefully they use the second method which is to extract the cells from the blood itself. We can only hope. It isn't going to be pleasant. After enough cells are harvested he then has to have very high dose chemotherapy that will basically kill everything. Which is where the transplant comes in. To rebuild his body. 

This is not the only option we have. The other option that the doctor is not happy about, and I understand why she doesn't want to do it, due to the location and the reasons. Localized radiation. The locations kind of make this difficult. One of the places is quite near the heart. You don't want to irradiate your heart. Actually, you don't want to irradiate any part of your body, but especially your heart. It's not safe. And the other location is right under his collarbone. There are two nodes, one quite a bit larger than the other one. Near the esophagus. I can see this being a problematic location as well due to one's ability to eat and what radiation does to a person. The stem cell option is the best option to prolong life. She hinted at this, delicately. And then added that he was young and had plenty of years left in him. She mentioned one hospital in St. Louis and another in Chicago. He's meeting with someone tomorrow about the money side of this whole mess and then to do one of the two pulmonary tests he's got to have on Wednesday. 

Here we go, barreling into the great unknown again. And no, I don't feel like praying or gnashing my teeth at some sky fairy. Please don't offer to pray. Honestly don't. I'm not in the mood for it and I may invite you to become intimate with yourself or jump into a combustion of wood and expire. And no, this isn't some fucking religious trial of some sort. Nor is it a punishment for some failure on his part. This is a failure of cells in a body. It happens and not for any specific reason. It just sucks some major ass that we can't quite breath a sigh of relief yet.

More lunacy

I can understand how people don't want to believe that when you die, that's the end. Everyone would like to be with everyone that is important to them and they care about forever. I see no evidence of this happening and choose to believe that we only have one life and you had best make the most of it while you're here on earth. Once a person is gone, they are gone and you are left with the memories. Once you are gone, those that you leave behind are left with nothing but memories. No amount of gnashing of teeth and hoping for this and that will change that. You live, you die. That's all there is. There is no deeper meaning it in. I don't have the heart of a philosopher and I don't care to. I am at peace with this. I do not fear death, because it's inevitable. No matter how one desperately tries, they will not live forever. They will not go on to some eternal reward for the bonds of forced slavery to an all seeing and all knowing Sky Daddy that lashes you with a whip from the great beyond. That's never been an option in my mind. I'd like to thank my parents for not forcing such thoughts on me and letting us form our own opinions, whether they are correct or not.

That is not to say that I am not upset when someone that is important to me dies. Of course I'm upset. It is not pleasant to lose someone and know that you won't ever see them again. All you can do is remember them and relish the time you had together. I don't want to tarnish the memories I have of people by ruining them with fantasies and guilt trips for not following some mystical path to enlightenment or salvation. The born again thing always pissed me off. Why the fuck would I want to be born again? I was born okay the first time. I was alive and while my life hasn't been all sunshine and flowers, there's very little I would change, and I would never change my non-belief in fairy tales. 

Why am I bringing up death? Did someone die? No. No one has recently died that was close to me. Just the usual parades of idiocy on Facebook. And Monday was what we hope was RelUnrelated's last chemotherapy treatment. We'll know more after his scan next Monday and the results come back from the scan. It's pretty cool learning about the scan though. He's got to stay away from people after it because he'll be emitting gamma rays. Heh. Don't want to spread that around. 

What idiocy did they spawn this time? Well, for starters there was this. And I'm not going to say that they had no right to share the information. They overreacted and made it into something it wasn't. It turns out everything was routine and not some massive life threatening episode. Someone with a chronic, non-life threatening illness. Please people, calm the fuck down. 

 

The person who posted this tends to be quick on the draw for praying for everything. Honestly, if there was some Sky Daddy, do you really think he would have time to sit around and follow every petty whim that spilled from people's lips? About sports? About the weather? Come on now. Be realistic. Don't believe me? This isn't the only thing they've put up that's pretty silly.

 

Yeah. No explanation what the prayers were needed for or what. Just "Needing prayers". Yeah. And this happens alot. These two were on the same day. Also, completely unrelated. They mainly post 2 things. Prayers and country music videos. I'm not going to say that those two things go hand in hand but... I can't stand either. And one more, from last night. 

If you want to support someone going through a tough time, ask them if there is anything you can do for them. Any kind of help like errands, assistance around the house or just a shoulder to lean on for a few moments of peace. Supporting a person is not mumbling to a sky fairy. Never was and never will be. Sorry. The powerful thing about prayer is that so many people waste so much time on such a worthless thing. There are better ways to spend your time. Then again, maybe I could make a dramatic post about RelUnrelated going for his scan. Throw in something about the nice purple pants he had on and then end the day with pictures of the Incredible Hulk and say that he was changed by the radiation of the scan and went on a rampage smashing everything in sight. Nah, I'm just not into perpetuating stupidity like that. Although my story would be much cooler.

So.. I'm okay with this.

Those wonderful chaps over on the image board I hang out on have dug up some more awesome. I can't say if and when I'll actually get to see these two, but damn, they are full of fightan and awesome. Ultraman FTW!

 

Wow. It's a bonfire of stupid so intense it could be a crematorium.

It's incredible what happens when a slow news day blows something up into a bonfire of stupid so large it threatens to consume many leaving nothing but ashes in it's wake. Yesterday was one of those days. The flow of stupid seems to have slowed today, but that doesn't mean that I'm not going to keep checking on it. It's a pretty good source of comedy. 

To begin, it must have been a slow news day because one of the local news stations put this up on their Facebook wall with a question in hopes of getting a response from the general public. Oh, they did.

It isn't an accurate representation of the bus ads that are going to be on the buses in the area, but a mock up of a similar campaign that took place in Indiana.This is not the ad that will be on the buses. If you're curious to see the ad, look here: Illini Secular Student Alliance. The ads that are going up are different and probably wouldn't have been noticed that frequently had this not been put out there. I say good though because the students are drawing attention to this now. Probably in a bigger way than expected.

The comments start off pretty moderate and easy going and quickly descend into rabid madness. I've only cut out people's names.

 

In this town, several churches have ads inside the buses. It's common and you've never heard any complaints about it. They pay their money for the ads just like these students did. The amount of bigotry that shows up almost immediately surprises me. Unfortunately, at the same time, it doesn't surprise me in the slightest.

Fundamental history fails right off the bat. I love the spelling and grammar fails as well that permeate this entire venture. It made me angry at first, but then I realize how much stupid there can be so close to a university and laugh. Laugh long and hard that people can be so ignorant about so many things.

Nice to see a few moderate Christians speaking up instead of the tirades of just the christards. And no, I won't be nice. They piss me off by their willful ignorance. Opening up an actual book about this history of this country would help, but I fear the only thing most of these people would read would be the Left Behind books or the Purpose Driven dreck. And no, I don't think they would actually crack open that book they use as an idol.

"I AM DEEPLY OFFENDED". Yeah, you don't have a right to not be offended. Fuck off. Your bullshit offends me and you don't see me baaaaawing for a ride on the whaaaaambulance. I'd rather just let others see your bullshit.

Nice to know that once the ads go up, there will be a decreased usage of the city buses by ignorant bigots. We should all rejoice. The people that I see riding the buses aren't too worried about signs on them. Myself included. Signs are harmless. They hurt no one. You are not being forced to read anything on a sign. If the sign is hateful and attacking another with lies however, don't think that you're going to get a free pass and not get called on that bullshit.

 Uh, no. Atheists don't have churches. That kind of defeats the point of being an atheist. Atheism is a lack of belief in the supernatural. ALL supernatural beings, not just christian ones. It was nice to see the members of the ISSA defending the ads though.

There's some confusion with this one here. That's all I'm going to say about his random, rambling missive that seems to miss the point of agnosticism too. Oh well, perhaps he can learn a little more from the information others in the comments of this have added. Then again, he can get his daily dose of hatred too.

Yes, put up some more billboards around this town with more inaccurate information and lies. There are some. And people in town were absolutely disgusted by the billboard and the incredulous information on the website that the church put up about these "incredible stories of Jesus healing" true believers. Sickening.

A break from some more of the stupid. It's refreshing to see that not everyone is a rabid moron. I'm joking. Most of those who are baaaawing the most probably don't even live around here or use the MTD. Most of the people that throw a fit about MTD don't live in the districts for MTD or just think that MTD shouldn't expect any payment for their services. Sadly. Probably people who also believe that cutting taxes solves everything.

Yes, equate a paid ad on the side of a bus with throwing up displays of the 10 commandments of ignorant bullshit up in state capitols that are paid for by everyone, not just fundietards. And oh yes. Prayer in schools. Didn't that already play out here once? Yeah, it did. I knew that lady that took the case to the Supreme Court and she personally gave me a copy of the book she wrote about the experience and the hatred and vilification she and her family went through during that time. I didn't get her to sign it though while she was still living. I'm referring to Vashti McCollum and McCollum v. the Board of Education.

Here's that billboard that I have to pass daily on the way to work that is linked to a site filled with most vile kind of lies. Faith healing and lying for Jesus about curing major illnesses such as cancer. Unfortunately, most of the stories are distorted and the people that are claiming these miracles actually had medical attention. Especially the couple in the picture. Obviously that abstinence only education only taught him to put it in the pooper. Apparently, he thought that alone would get her pregnant. Wait... abstinence only education... explains a lot really.

Again with the stupid.

It didn't take long for more stupid to show up on Facebook. I now have a folder on my desktop to collect the stupid fundietarded shit to laugh at. It's really sad actually. 

This is what I meant the last time with the stupid cut and paste jobs. Obviously people have no idea how to format anything that they've cut and pasted into those little boxes. Or how to click on the place that says more to get the rest of what the person they copied this little screed from had to say. Yeah, everyone has regrets in life, whether it being something that you wish you could have said to someone that you will never see again or speak to again because they've died. Don't cheapen that with this shit please. Having regrets in life is a part of life because nothing is perfect. Why would you not try to enjoy what time you have and try to make less regrets like that and live? Sorry, I guess that's just the part of me that doesn't believe in sky fairies.

And of course you don't forget people that were important to you either, unless you get something like Alzheimer's, that is. I don't know. It baffles me. I've lost people that were important to me and never entertained these kind of pathetic wishful fantasies. Then again, this was from a person that seems to have a very difficult time coming to terms with death period. She lost her mother ten or more years ago and continues to behave as if her mother passed away yesterday.That is the saddest part. She indulges in such speculation instead of enjoying her children and her life. She used to be a very carefree and happy person. I guess she never learned to cope. She lost her father when she was younger and it never impacted her like this has. It's very sad and I would like to suggest that she get counselling, but it would never penetrate the bubble she has put around herself and the people that continue to keep the behavior going.

Yes, post up that little butt nugget of "wisdom". Yup, work hard at wanking because when you wank, it's not for you, it's for the "Lord". Slap a bible verse on it too randomly in between your Mafia Wars posts of slapping the shit out of other players. Then again, I guess you were doing that for the "Lord" too. I hear he likes a good smiting. 

Seriously though, when I work, I'm thinking about getting my work done and doing it correctly to save myself further work down the road. My work can be very monotonous, but let me tell you if I wanted a life dedicated to some sky fairy, I'd have become a nun. Ain't happening so fuck off.


First of all, you might want to proofread a little better next time. CAPS LOCK is cruise control for cool too. But really, if your life is so shit that you're going on like this all the time, you need to fucking get out of there and start all over again. No man or woman is worth the constant drama. Honestly.

I'll give you a hint what you need. Some boxes. Pack your shit up in them and get the fuck out. Problem solved. And look, you didn't have to ask any dust mote on the ceiling that either! If you don't know what you need, how have you made it this far in life? When you're hungry do you do the same thing? When you have to shit? Do you begin to waste away from hunger and covered in shit because there is no response? No, you fucking get something to eat and take a shit. Why should this be any different? You're in a shitty relationship and it's not working. Simple solution: end the shitty relationship. Obviously your close family members that all chimed in on this are just as fucking moronic about such things as you are. 


These guys make my head hurt. Fuck.